Social Media

Disclaimer: Opinions expressed in this blog are just that and not intended to offend anyone that may feel otherwise.

I'm in a predicament and debating the deactivation of my facebook account.  You're thinking, "why on earth would you want to deactivate your facebook account?  It's the portal to staying connected and in touch with all of your friends and family or any individual you met once in your life."  Simply stated, I hate facebook.  Maybe "hate" is a strong word.  "Dislike" is probably more appropriate.  I will begin with the back story as to why I even created an account and where my dislike began.

My whole reasoning for creating the account 6-7 years ago was because my cousin was headed to Afghanistan.  At the time, it was one of the only ways we could keep in touch with him and know his where-abouts.  I also thought, "Hey, maybe I will reconnect with some people and strengthen some friendships."  On the rare occasions I logged in, I found myself plagued with two issues.

Issue one: Ingenuine friendships. Friend requests from people began pouring in.  Normally one would be excited to see so many people deeming you worthy to be a facebook friend, but I quickly learned it wasn't about building a relationship.  It was about seeing who could have the most friends on their account, regardless of the fact that you had not spoke to this person, nor did you ever plan on speaking to this person.  You were merely a tally to be displayed on their timeline.  I also realized the people that were requesting my friendship were people that rarely, if ever, gave me the time of day when we were once in school together.  If I was not cool enough to be your friend then, why does the gap in time make me worthy enough at this point in time?  There are only a handful of people that I chose to keep in touch with after high school, one of which regularly reads this blog. We kept in touch because we  made it a point to do so and didn't need social media to do it.  It may be hard to believe, but social media didn't exist when we were in college so we had to keep in touch the old fashion way, through phone calls and emails.  Sometimes even regular mail using a stamp (pause for dramatic gasp).

Issue two: Jealousy.  This is a hard issue to admit, but I began to feel inadequate and jealous while reading status updates from the 150 or so people I followed (yes, my list of friends was quite small.  For further explanation on my minimal list, re-read "Issue one" above).  I know this is something that scientists and researchers have actually looked into, and also something I have spoke about with other close friends who felt the same way.  It was hard to log in and see so many people getting pregnant while I struggled to fill that void in my life for years.  Or see someone taking an amazing vacation and wishing I could get away to some exotic place, too. I admit I posted a few vacation photos to some exotic places and probably made someone feel this same pang of jealously.  For this, I apologize.  I would log-in and find myself reading status updates and "creeping" people's pages, not realizing an hour had passed only to be overcome with this feeling of inadequacy and depression.  I felt stupid for feeling this way and angry at myself for allowing myself to have such feelings so I tried to lengthen the gap between log-ins.

I know what you're asking yourself, "How is your blog any different?  You post updates regularly about how great your life is, how you have the cutest baby in the world and you couldn't be happier?"  What's different is I'm not throwing it in your face without your approval.  You physically and mentally chose to go to this blog and read my opinion.  You didn't just log into a page and have my status or photos thrown in your face like facebook does.  I follow a few blogs of friends of mine and I willingly do so.  I look forward to visiting their blog to see how they are doing, how much their kids have grown and what's going on in their lives.  These are my true friends and people I care greatly about.  They are the ones I keep in touch with regularly.  Yes, they also have facebook pages, but I feel like their blog really gives a sense of the important things going on in their lives.  Not that they checked in at some restaurant for the umpteenth time.  I guess I could just de-friend anyone whose status updates I did not want to read, but let's be honest, the temptation to jump over to their page and "creep" would always be there.  Then the flood gates of inadequacy and jealously would just be opened yet again. 

I'm also uneducated on the proper ways of using Facebook which may cause me to be a non believer. But I also know of too many instances that Facebook has negatively impacted people's lives. Marriages have been ruined and jobs have been lost because people reconnected or began affairs through Facebook or innocently posted pictures of their weekend antics unknowingly violating work policies and being caught because they were friends of co-workers.   I have heard universities and some employers actually look up potential candidates pages to see what sort of life they live. Makes you want to question whether that photo of you in college performing a keg stand makes you look cool or unhireable. 

In no way am I bashing those of you that love social media and regularly use it.  Shane has a twitter account but he primarily uses it for professional reasons or to follow a few personal interest individuals.  I also have an instagram account.  I originally used it to edit photos and didn't realize there were people actually following me or seeing what I posted (mostly Shane's students who are tech savvy and slightly stalkerish that decided to track me down and follow me on instagram and pinterest).  I'm a lover of photos so I guess instagram is a social media I will never deactivate.

So I guess I'm back to my original question of whether I should deactivate my page or not.  I have not posted a photo or status update in months, let alone log-in unless I was sent a private message with which I needed to respond.  Would people not be able to reach me if I pull the trigger?  Those that needed to reach me are probably good friends to begin with and they should have my phone number or email.  Who knows when, or if, I will deactivate the account.  I guess if you want to find out, check your friend list one day and see if the photo taken of my bright smiling face back in 2011 is still present.  Then quickly click over to my blog to see how the cutest boy in the world is doing and read how happy we are.